Nah..I'm not talking about minding your language. I'm talking about a classic show. Recently good friend of mine has downloaded this series of classic comedy. I really miss this show as it was one of my favourite comedy show at the 80's.
As of today, I can actually still laugh like crazy with their jokes, they funny talk and their english speaking with their national accent. The sypnosis about the show can be found via here. What sadden me is that the actor Barry Evans who portrayed as an English teacher, Jeremy Brown has passed away in the year 1997. That was like 10 years ago. Before that, I heard a lot of rumours about him, one of them which is he married to the Indian student, Jamila, portrayed by Jamila Massey.
Oh yeah..for over 20 years, I just found out that as for the chinese-and-damm-political-democratical-speaking student Chung Su-Lee, the actress Pi-Sen Lim was actually a Penang-ites. Yeap, she's actually a Malaysian. Guess she make a history in the 70-80's comedy show in UK.
Anyway, you can read all about them in the link I just show you.
Here are some of the funny quotes that were found in the show itself;
Miss Courtney: [asking Mr. Brown questions from a sheet] Sex?
Jeremy Brown: Occasionally.
Jeremy Brown: How about a toast for Ali and Su-Lee?
Giovanni Capello: No, sorry, we have no toast, only biscuits.
Jeremy Brown: No, I mean a toast for Ali and Su-Lee.
Giovanni Capello: We have no toast for them, either!
Jeremy Brown: Where do you go to cash a check?
Ranjeet Singh: In Czechoslovakia!
Jeremy Brown: Now, although most sports are international, there are some sports that are native to different countries. For example, the national sport of France is…
Danielle Favre: Football!
Jeremy Brown: Correct! And the national sport for Italy is…
Giovanni Capello: Girls!
Jeremy Brown: That’s not a sport!
Giovanni Capello: Maybe not, but it’s more popular than football!
Police Sergeant: What is your name?
Juan Cervantes: Por favor?
Police Sergeant: How do you spell that?
Jeremy Brown: That’s not his name!
Police Sergeant: Oh, giving me a fake name, are we?
Juan Cervantes: Por favor?
Police Sergeant: I’ll come back to you, Mr. Por Favor, or whatever you name is!
Miss Courtney: Can anybody tell me who said “To Be or Not To Be”?
Chung Su-Lee: Chairman Mao!
Miss Courtney: This may come as a shock to you, but there are people who’ve written things besides Chairman Mao.
Chung Su-Lee: Chairman Mao lite evelything!
Miss Courtney: Well, he certainly didn’t lite… *write* “To Be or Not To Be”!
Jeremy Brown: Su-Lee, spell “Democracy”
Chung Su-Lee: C-H-I-N-A.
Jeremy Brown: And I suppose if I asked you to spell “Dictatorship”, you would have spelt “England”?
Chung Su-Lee: Or “America”!
Jeremy Brown: Juan, explain what is wrong with the following sentence: “The cows was in the field”
Juan Cervantes: The cows… was NOT in the field.
Jeremy Brown: No, Juan, the correct sentence is “The cows were in the field”!
Juan Cervantes: I didn’t see them!
[Mr Brown is talking to the class about everyday things they should know how to say and do]
Jeremy Brown: Ali, where would you go to get some aspirin?
Ali Nadim: The Tandoori Takeaway.
Jeremy Brown: What?
Ali Nadim: My jolly good friend who works there always has plenty aspirin.
Jeremy Brown: No, where would you *buy* aspirin?
Ali Nadim: Why would I be buying aspirin, when I can get it from my jolly good friend for free?
Jeremy Brown: All right, where would you go if the Tandoori Takeaway was closed?
Ali Nadim: Oh, blimey! The Taj Mahal Curryhouse
Jamila Ranjha: White Chemist!
Jeremy Brown: [Ali leaves his seat and begins to walk out of the classroom] Where are you going?
Ali Nadim: To buy aspirin.
Jeremy Brown: I thought you said you didn’t have a headache?
Ali Nadim: Oh blimey! I do now! Jeremy Brown: [calling out roll] Giovanni?
Giovanni Capello: [stands up] Si, professore!
Jeremy Brown: No “professore”!
Giovanni Capello: No “professore”?
Jeremy Brown: No, from now on, you are to address me as “Sir”.
Giovanni Capello: “Sir”? Now I understand!
[bows]
Giovanni Capello: You have gone to get “notted”!
Jeremy Brown: [baffled] Come again?
Giovanni Capello: Si, you have gone to get “notted” by the Queen!
Giovanni Capello: [Miss Courtney has called Mr. Brown on his birthday] Hey, maybe she’s gonna get you a birthday present!
Jeremy Brown: Yes, and maybe the Pope’s getting married!
Giovanni Capello: [shocked] He is? I didn’t know that!
(Source by the reflector)
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Among the whole series, I enjoy this one very very much. I personally wrote the script down, in detail; based on the way how the foreigners speak with their native accent. It's really hilarious. Spoiler....you better not read this if you don't want to spoilt your excitement to watch this comedy series. Otherwise, just scroll below.
Jeremy Brown: This is a verbal exercise help you to improve your English and test your imagination.
Ali Nadim: Don Blimey. Ranjit is not having a chance.
<mild commotion>
Jeremy Brown: What you are going to do is to try to tell a continuing story. Lets say we could for example start with once upon a time there was a man called Arthur and he was a bus driver, and the next person will add something more about Arthur, and so on. Soon we are going to start it. We start with you, Juan.
Juan Cervantes: I don't know this man, Arthur
Jeremy Brown: Arthur is fictitious
Juan Cervantes: Hehe..but you say he is a bus driver
Jeremy Brown: It is a make believe, I make him up
Juan Cervantes: Imaginerio
Jeremy Brown: Yeah. I want you to make up the story using all your imagination.
Juan Cervantes: I understand. Once upon a times, there was a man called Nickel Ass.
Jeremy Brown: It's not quite right
Juan Cervantes: No? Once upon a time, there was a woman called Nickel Ass.
Jeremy Brown: It is pronounced Nicholas
Juan Cervantes: So-raitt..once upon a time, there was a man called Ni-Cho-Las. He was a poster man.
Jeremy Brown: Postman!
Juan Cervantes: No no no...Poster Man
Jeremy Brown: Juan, a man who delivers letters is called a postman
Juan Cervantes: A man who sticks poster, poster man.
Jeremy Brown: Ahh...bill sticker
Juan Cervantes : (sounds frust) nah nah....it's NI-CHO-LAS!
Jeremy Brown : Alright, Juan. Thank you.
Juan Cervantes : So-raitt.
Jeremy Brown : Right..your turn Ingrid. Tell us more about Nicholas who is sticking up posters.
Ingrid: One man he is up his ladder, there he sees a widow.
Jeremy Brown : What is a widow doing up his ladder?
Ingrid: When hes opened the door, there are 4 widows, 2 upstair widow, 1 downstair widow, and a fridge widow.
Jeremy Brown : You mean windows.
Ingrid: oh sorry. the man is house robbing.
Jeremy Brown : good, good. Right..your turn, zoltan. Please, continue the story
Zoltan :bulchana?
Jeremy Brown : We are making of a story, understand story
Zoltan : story?! Ah..I know a very good story. About Aladdin and his wonderful Limpe
Jeremy Brown : This is another story about Nicholas
Zoltan : ah..merry christmas!(smack mr. brown's shoulder)
Jeremy Brown: pardon?
zoltan : santa nicholas, comes every year.
Jeremy Brown : Ah ha..yes, this is another Nicholas, not the same Nicholas and he is on the ladder.
Zoltan :ladder, yes?
Jeremy Brown : then when he sees through the windows a burglar, robber.Now use your imagination, and tell us what happen next.
Zoltan : he sends for ambulance
Jeremy Brown : why does he send for an ambulance?
Zoltan : he falls of ladder. Good imagination, No? (smack again on mr brown's shoulder)
Jeremy Brown :Yes. Thank you. Alright anna, let see what you can do with this story.
Anna : the burglar see the ambulance thinks it is a police. So he climbed back out of the window, up the fire scale onto the rooofs
Jeremy Brown : very good. Max carry on
Maximillian : there is no way hautt(out)..he can't go hap (up), he can't go down. Now, the only way he can go is hacross (across). It is a big hacross, so he get ready. He runs.. he jumps, and he misses it.
Jeremy Brown : but it is going to be a very short story.
Danielle ; ah no..now it is my turn. He doens't kill himself because he jumps on two big lorry full of, how do you say, the cut grass.
Jeremy Brown ; hay
Danielle : the cut grass
Jeremy Brown : hay
Danielle : You are not hearing very well
Jeremy Brown : You are not understanding very well. The cut grass is called hay.
Danielle: hoow
Maximillian : no hoow...hay
danielle;so, the hay is saving his life.
Jeremy Brown : good. well done danielle.right, giovani your turn.
Giovanni : now, the copperrrs arrr coming. The burglarrr panics, then he sees a church. So he goes and nockers on the door. A prriest, he hears this knockering, so he come along and open the door. The burrglarr he saying, father, I am in a big trouble. So the prriest say, come into the church my son, and I will give you sanctuary. OK, says the burglar, and Sanctuary Much (Thank you very much).
(the whole class laugh)
Jeremy Brown : Good genius. Carry on Ranjeet.
Ranjeet Singh: Meanwhile the man who is falling of his ladder, he is telling the police that he is not a poster sticker upper man, but a secret agent, and the burglar man is being a Russian spy
Jeremy Brown : oh ..that is endup with a good imagination. Taro.
Taro ; Asso..Russian man knocko priesto on heado, and chango clotho to escapo.
Jeremy Brown : the plot thickens right.. jamila
Jamila ; but the priest is been recovered, and crawled to reach the cherch (church) bell, russian finally see him ..and toink..shoot at him..as priest is fall, he is pull, the bell rope...ding dong...
Jeremy Brown : very good. ali
Ali Nadim: yes please. the agent is thinking. hello, hello there is very strange hearing bells when it is not church going time. so he is going into the church, and finding the russian spy up the bell fry. Come down, with your hand stuck up.. you are tucked, you dirty russian rat.
Jeremy Brown : very good. Well, su lee, I don't suppose that you have really much to add all that.
Su lee: oh yes i can. very divious lussian (russian) agent , master of kalate (karate) over powered Blitish (British) agent... Hai hai yaik(way of karate sound)..he lun (run) outside where helicopter waiting to take him to safety, fries of ranning (running) glass.
Jeremy Brown : Very good. it is not exactly the story of MacLean, but well done everyone.
(The colors marked represents their nationalities)..If you read until headache, thousand apologies. Otherwise....JOLLY GOOD!
